We’ve had hygge from the Scandinavians
and ikigai and wabi sabi from the Japanese
And now, I’d like to introduce you to something uniquely Malaysian: shiok and shiok sendiri!
Full details in the video (or read the transcript) but it short it just means this:
To do something totally pleasurable, fun, enjoyable, delicious, feel-good just because you want to.
Before writing this, I thought I’d do a quick search to see how other people might define this, and was a little surprised to see that it’s sometimes defined negatively: that someone who ‘shiok sendiri’ is self-absorbed, narcissistic, arrogant, even delusional; i.e. that they think the world revolves around them.
I wonder if this might arise out of a common Asian tendency towards modesty, humility and putting family or community above the personal. There’s still, I think, the idea that there’s something selfish about wanting to pursue your own pleasures or to do something for yourself, especially if it means disregarding family/community ideals or expectations.
There’s a whole other conversation here about cultural beliefs which I don’t really want to get into right now, but in the context of shiok sendiri, I’d like to propose that we reframe it into something a little healthier, even positive:
In other words, allowing pleasure for pleasure’s sake.
Giving ourselves permission to sometimes (or often!) do things that feel good for no reason other than because it feels good.
Letting it be okay to feel good, full stop. (And finally doing away with this enduring belief across so many Asian cultures that you are somehow a better, nobler person if you sacrifice, struggle and suffer).
So: A little more joy. A little less matyrdom, please.
(Also, I know this is obvious that pleasure should be sought and enjoyed NOT at the expense of hurting someone. Don’t be an asshole. Don’t go shaming / assaulting / bullying someone in the name of ‘shiok sendiri’)
Some examples of shiok sendiri:
Throwing yourself a dance party
Cooking and eating a full 3-course meal all to yourself
Gifting yourself flowers
Singing loudly to yourself (bonus points if you have a terrible singing voice)
Wearing your brightest lipstick while working from home and when you’re not seeing anybody that day
Laughing at your own bad jokes
Anything else you’d add?
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