The most unglamorous poo

In one of the world's most glamorous places

Here’s a professional photo that was taken of me back in the days when I worked for a top global fashion magazine.

And when I mean top, I mean top. It was the Malaysian edition of the largest fashion magazine brand in the world.

And it was the kind of job that regularly involved champagne lunches, interviewing celebrities on the phone and writing about $20-million platinum watches.

This is also the most glamorous, polished, un-messy photo that has probably ever been taken of me in my entire life.

I need to set this context before I get into the rest of this very messy story about how my body played a horrifying trick on me:

One day, in the middle of a workday, I needed a poo.

And because bodies are weird and imperfect and have minds of their own, mine decided that it needed a poo RIGHT NOW RIGHT NOW GET OUT OF YOUR SEAT AND GO NOW NOW NOW.

The toilets weren’t that far away and I waddled as quickly as I could.